I just did it!
Here are some of Merceditas Gutierrez’s entries in her diary, courtesy of Wikileaks of the mind.
April 28, 2011
Tomorrow is the Big Day. I’m sad that I will disappoint my fans, especially Sal Panelo. He even formed a group that immortalizes my nickname, the Movement of Enlightened and Responsible Citizens Against Impeachment or MERCI. What cause will he take up now? I
will no longer be there to keep him in the limelight.
But two things make me sadder:
1) I will join the ranks of the unemployed. I will be jobless after all these years, after enjoying the perks of high public office—especially traipsing in the capitals of Europe and US! I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been out of the country. That’s why I completely understand Erlinda Ligot: when you travel as often as we do, you no longer keep track. Why bother?
2) I will lose my retirement pay! That’s what my detractors are taking away from me—my financial security. Of course, I don’t talk about this in public. Nakakahiya. This was the real reason for my outward defiance, my fighting words. I looked forward to at least a cool million pesos but now, that’s gone. I still want to get my full salary for April, so I timed my resignation early May.
April 30, 2011
Wow! I shared the headlines with Kate and William today. Who can beat that feat? I was glad I wore a bright and deep green ensemble, to provide contrast to Kate’s ivory gown.
I did not mean to steal the thunder from the royal wedding. Actually, I thought I should add to the celebration, for a global event and a local one, why not? That’s part of accepting my fate.
Yesterday, when I met with the President, I asked for only one thing: that I keep my security guards. He agreed. But I should have let him sign an agreement. Who knows, when the police reorganize, they can take back my security detail. Maám did that during her time. I remember that Kris Aquino complained that while her mom was in the hospital, someone told them that Cory’s security guards were being pulled out.
May 1, 2011
There is a lot of speculation as to why I resigned, why I swallowed my pride—which almost choked me, actually. Two things helped me arrive at this decision: religion and Manny Pacquiao.
It was during Holy Week that I pondered this option. It gave me a quiet break, a chance to talk to God. I was suffering (all those baseless charges and criticisms!) and He was suffering, too, so I thought that this was a perfect time to converse with Him. We were on the same rough
patch. And I knew that after this lowest point, like Him, I, too, would have my resurrection.
Somehow, this led me to the dramatic full-spread ads of Manny Pacquiao in the newspapers, emblazoned with these simple lines:
A force of nature
has no hatred,
and no competition.
And it ended with this command: Just do it.
I told myself: this must be the signal, the words from the heavens that I’ve been waiting for. Just do it!
It’s such a simple message and it struck me like a mild earthquake. The tectonic plates in my mind must have shifted places. Suddenly, resigning was the only option.
And, like Manny, I, too, was a force (from the past). I bear no hatred (I said that in my statement), and, well, yes, I no longer have excuses (to stay on). I have to admit that I do have competition, that’s the only difference between Manny and me.
But in following this mantra—Just do it!—Manny and I are one.
May 2, 2011
Four more days and it’s goodbye. I hope I will not be bored. But it seems that I will still be in the news. I may have to appear in court. Some fools want to press charges; they say they have the evidence and the witnesses.
I may need to fly to San Francisco then for an important meeting. That should be first on my to-do list, a visit to Maám’s favorite city. Looks like post-resignation life will be busy, after all.
TAGS: Manny Pacquiao, Merceditas Gutierrez reisgnation