Out-Sourcing the Wife
Foreigners trawl the World Wide Web for one of the country’s hottest
exports, the Filipino mail order-bride, a convenient way to traffic
(First of three parts)
With her slim build, long hair, fair skin and almond eyes, 20-year
old Aileen, along with five other girls, sat before Mr. Ji-Wong and Mr.
Soon, looking every bit like the fantasy woman Koreans are looking for
in their future wives. But this is no ordinary search for a wife or a
husband. The search had been outsourced to an international matching
organization that brought together the interested parties for a fee and
the complexities of love, chemistry, commitment reduced to a short,
half-hour interview in a seedy hotel in Cubao, Quezon City.
Inside the hotel, Aileen learned that Mr. Soon had already chosen
Jenny after seeing her video in the internet. Aileen and the rest of
the girls competed for Mr. Ji-Wong, who was 45, divorced and spoke very
little English. As Mr. Soon proceeded to get to know Jenny, the rest of
the girls were seated on a couch and were each asked to write their
names and the color of their shirts on a sheet of paper. Aileen wrote
“white” and “red” under her name.
Ji-Wong asked her, “How old are you? Where do you live? What is your
name?” It was apparent he was smitten and with the help of Mr. Lee, who
also doubled as translator, Ji-Wong focused his questions on her.
Aileen, who did not like the Korean and wishing not to be chosen,
answered rudely. She told him she had a bad temper, that she was a bad
cook and that she did not know how to take care of a husband. She also
told him she had a son. “Don’t blame me if you suffer,” she warned him.
But the effort to steer his attention to the other girls back-fired.
He found her tantrums charming and chose her in the end. After the
other girls were whisked away, Aileen was immediately treated to a
shopping spree by her recruiters. They bought her a wedding dress and a
The following day, she was wed. The wedding was witnessed by her
grandmother, her uncle, her cousin, Mr. Lee and Annie, the Filipino
counterpart in the mail-order bride syndicate who promised Ji-Wong an
instant bride and a wedding that will transpire without a hitch.
Until Aileen turned on him and reported the incident to authorities, Ji-Wong thought he got exactly what he paid for.
"Mail order bride" was a term coined in the 19th century to refer
to the way American soldiers literally ordered brides to join them in
areas they were assigned. Today, it has acquired a different
connotation as technological leaps and bounds have become easier for
men to “order” their wives from the net in much the same way they do
their shopping online.
Mail order sites, masquerading as nothing more than match-making
agencies, generally use two ways to peddle women as mail order brides.
They offer names and addresses of prospective brides for a fee or they
arrange "show-up" tours where they can meet the women, select from them
and bring home a bride in the two weeks vacation time their work
usually allows them to.
As travel costs continue to go down, more and more foreign men
seeking Filipina wives are lured to fly to the Philippines to join
"show-up" tours arranged for a fee by marriage brokers.
The web site charges US $385 for a four-day "tour" in the
Philippines. This amount does not include the airfare and
One website checked out by Newsbreak www.charmingfilipinas.com
charges US$300 for a four day tour in the Philippines. This amount does
not include the airfare, the accommodations and the booking fee of $85.
In the Philippines, mail-order bride syndicates charge each
foreigner up to half a million pesos depending on how long he wants to
stay in the Philippines and his preferred accommodations.
One- day Courtships
One web site in Digos City, a small city in Mindanao about two hours
from Mindanao, for instance holds two show up tours every week. Another
site in Cebu has a show tour once a week.
In these tours, the foreigners, alone or in groups, are booked for
flights and billeted in hotels where prospective brides are paraded
before them usually with a translator to guide them through the
interviews and difficulties of language and cultural barriers.
The foreigners choose their bride and the new couple are usually
married the following day. He stays for a few weeks of honeymoon and
then goes back to his country while his bride takes care of the
necessary documents to join him.
Newsbreak’s random survey of web sites organizing such tours shows a
high demand for this kind of service both from men who want a bride in
a snap and women who are eager for adventure and a chance to change
"You have a population which is accustomed to a non-materialistic
way of life, raised with less of a value put on possessions. Many of
the residents are lower income, but they still attend college locally,
work and dress nicely in site of the financial challenges. They have
old-fashioned values and generally offer sincere interest in the man,
rather than his wallet and are overall low maintenance. Country girls
who don’t believe in divorce, that pretty much describes the kind of
girl you’ll find here," goes a locally operated mail order web site
inviting those seeking for wives in Digos.
The web site tells the men not to worry about terrorists only the "insincere motives" of Manila girls.
But in many of the photos advertised in the website, the desire to
be saved from their lives and financial ruin is still the basic drift.
At 55, "lonely" widow "Corazon" wants another shot at marriage.
Catalogued as ID#1P10, Corazon’s profile says she’s 5’ 2" tall and 120
pounds. She says she loves gardening, cooking, and sewing clothes. She
says she has no children and would want a lifetime friend to spend the
rest of her life with.
"I would like to meet men who are sincere, honest, and loving ages
50 years old and above who are interested in communication, friendship,
love and marriage. I will answer all letters," she wrote.
Single mother "merlitapiga," 38, who lives in Manila with her three
daughters, is forthright in her profile in one matching web site.
"(Sic) I like to meet someone to love me and my partner for life,
and help me to my financial problem. A good man and real and
responsible," she wrote.
The wide age differences and discrepancies in the backgrounds of
many couples married off through mail order bride schemes, particularly
in the show-up tours, makes the motivations of all players suspicious,
Regina Galias, head of the CFO Migrant Integration and Education
Division told Newsbreak.
The Filipino mail order brides are mostly under 30 who have never
been married. And yet too many of them agree to wed divorced men twice
"Normally, men and women in marriages outside the mail order bride scheme are about the same age range," said Galias.
Other than age, Galias said the foreign men are more specific when they place orders to marriage brokers.
"Most of them set requirements. They want the brides with long hairs and morena. They want nurses or teachers,”says Galias.
Judging by the proliferation of websites peddling Filipino women in
the web, the local mail order bride industry could be worth billions.
In the past 20 years, over 300,000 Filipinos have been married to
foreign nationals, figures from the Commission on Filipinos Overseas
(CFO) show. The number grows every year from less than eight thousand
in 1989 to over 20,000 in 2007. About 25 percent of these marriages
were arranged by mail-order bride syndicates.
Majority of mail order brides come from Southeast Asia and the
former Soviet Union. The number of women coming from the Philippines
and Russia stand out compared to their neighbors.
A 1997 report on the mail order bride industry funded by the US
Immigration and Naturalization Service cited Cherry Blossoms—the
largest and oldest matching agency— back then as having over 6,000
women at any one time. Out of this number, 3,050 already came from the
Philippines and 1,700 from Russia and Ukraine.
The Philippine Migrants’ Rights Watch puts the total number of
Filipino women who have signed up in matching web sites to 100,000. The
group’s survey of 200 web sites also showed that about 70 percent of
the women listed as Southeast Asian women were Filipino. Filipinas who
have been married to foreign nationals are spread out in over 20
countries but majority of them—three-fourths—are married to US
nationals (nearly 150,000) and Japanese (100,000).
The statistics vary on how many of these spouses—mostly women—are
mail order brides. According to the Philippine Migrants’ Rights Watch,
there have been 55,000 in the US and Japan since 1986 to 2005.The
US-based Purple Rose Campaign estimates that there are 5,000 mail-order
brides going to the US and Japan annually.
Assailed and demonized by feminist groups worldwide, founders of matching web sites proclaim the benefits of their services.
"Women who seek husbands across the world are like women who seek
husbands across the street. If a woman is prepared to seek a good
husband outside her own country, she is a smart shopper, availing
herself of millions of choices," Fred Wahl, founder of the US-based
Heart of Asia Romance Network, wrote in the web site.
"Using the Internet to widen your search beyond the borders of your
own country is a Win-Win for both men and women. It gives you the
chance to search a wider pool of prospective mates that you could hope
to meet otherwise," he added.
Business is brisk as men of First World countries grow increasingly
disappointed with their women who are not so willing to take on the
traditional responsibilities of the household. The increasing tendency
among First World women to seek higher education also makes the
lower-educated men insecure.
These men look to Asian women as ideal wives because of their image
as traditional, subservient and intellectually and sexually submissive.
"Women from the Philippines mostly seem to be very humble and do not
feel as if the world lives for them and it’s hard to find a woman from
the USA that way," said one subscriber of Wahl’s web site.
Filipino mail order bride Wenalyn couldn’t be happier, according to
a comment she posted on the web site where she met her husband. "(Sic)
I’m very thankful to the staff of Heart of Asia because your job is
amazing, if without u I can’t find my soul mate. We got married J an.
2006. I arrived here at the US last April 2007. This is the first
winter that I experience and first time to see snow. We plan after my
US citizenship we visit to my family at the Philippines."
American national James says his mail order bride was God-sent. "I
am thankful that with your service after visiting Cebu, Philippines, I
received confirmation from God that Emerita was the woman made just for
me. We were married here in Chesapeake, Virginia on September 9th of
2006. We are very happy with God’s blessing," he says in the same web
In several cases, the Filipina mail order brides, once they are
settled abroad, also link their friends and neighbors in the
Philippines to their husband’s friends. There are those who become
full-fledged marriage brokers, too.
The prohibition of matching under Republic Act 6955 or the Anti-Mail
Order Bride Law is actually unique to the Philippines. In the US, it is
regulated and it is also legal in Japan, Korea, Australia and Canada.
Despite the happy stories of Filipinas ending up in happy marriages,
however, authorities and agencies working to prevent the exploitation
of women in mail-order situations declare that the potential for abuse
is so great and the examples so many to justify the ban.
Janet Ramos, head of the CFO’s anti-trafficking unit, said the mail
order bride industry has been used for so long to traffic Filipinos
outside the country.
The problem when they have left the country is that it becomes very
difficult to report the abuses to their families in the Philippines.
–with research assistance from Victoria Camille Tulad (Newsbreak)
(Next part– Dreams Turned Sour: Mail-order schemes used to traffic and abuse Filipino women)